Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald – No Spoiler Review

Fantastic Beasts: Grindelwald’s Crimes is the sequel to the 2016 movie Fantastic Beasts and where to find them. Directed by David Yates and written by J.K. Rowling, the film takes up the story of Newt Scamander and his friends. Here is the review.

It will be a very long review, I have so many things to say. And many are negative.

First of all, Jo, I’m perplexed. The script is a big problem. The film starts well but continues so badly. As we understand from the poster, there are many characters and therefore many subplots, which are not complicated at all, because they are all love subplots. The film carries on five love stories, practically a romantic comedy like Love Actually, but badly written.

This especially for the rush. Rowling has failed to exploit all the characters and their stories. There are a lot of flashbacks, and this is not bad, it’s a shame that many things are said, they are clearly told through the mouths of other characters. It’s like that for Nagini, for Credence and for other characters. And this is a big problem. First rule of writing, Rowling: SHOW, DON’T TELL!

In The Crimes of Grindelwald, it is not possible to empathize with the characters because they are too many and are very speculative. We follow their stories, but the more we look at them, the more a question blossoms: So what? As I said the subplots are mostly amorous with flashbacks and references to Harry Potter, but you do not understand where the film wants to go.

There are these characters, we know a bit of their stories, but they do not add anything to the big story, in fact the horizontal plot of the film is developed in about fifteen minutes. It is basically important to see the beginning and the end. You can leave the room comfortably, have an aperitif, have dinner, go back to the end and understand the film, because the subplots of the other characters are totally useless. Okay, did Leta do this? But what does it matter to me? Anything.

Another problem is the disregard of the nature of magical powers. In this film, nobody uses a wand. There are absurd and ridiculous spells that make you laugh and, above all, someone cast a spell with his mouth. Yes, with the mouth. Think if this had happened in Harry Potter. And also other things that I do not say. 

Also, as mentioned before, there are many references to Harry Potter, even through old characters. And that takes time away from the story that drives the film, because Rowling wanted to put useless easter-eggs, like Hogwarts. And, as far as I see from the reactions, these easter-eggs are the only thing that remains.

I didn’t like the characters, especially for how they were mixed, that is, Harry Potter model and with Harry Potter’s love story style. But Harry Potter that type of love story are okay, because they are relationships between teenagers, but here they are all adults, but they all behave like kids. The hero team is composed of Newt, the stupid hero (Harry), Jacob, the comic one (Ron), and Tina, the tenacious and intelligent woman (Hermione). Honestly I would have preferred more. Rowling took too much of Harry Potter to play with the nostalgia effect, but she screwed herself with her own hands

Nagini is useless, Leta always cries, Newt’s brother makes no sense. He’s there, doing things, but do not ask why, because I did not understand it. Queenie becomes an idiot who argues with everybody without any reason. And Grindelwald doesn’t do anything, if not at the beginning of the film. And even the character is not well written. He makes very banal speeches, I do not find him so persuasive because his speeches are really weak. They can leverage on kids, but not on an adult audience.

And here I link up with another problem, the title: Fantasti Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. There are neither fantastic beasts nor the crimes of Grindelwald. The title should have been “Things happen while there are five love stories!. It represents more the true aspect of this film.

As always, there is a mystery that pulls the strings of  the story. Mystery that has a miserable treatment for too many characters and that we do not care. Or it was me. The solution is a big bullshit because it’s impossible.

Thus, the writing of Rowling in The Crimes of Grindelwald is very bad. Too much of a book in some places, too many references to favor old fans and too much simplicity to favor new ones. All seasoned with bullshits that touch the ridiculous and that make questioning everything that happens in Harry Potter.

But let’s move on to another sore point: the direction. David Yates takes a huge step back. In the first film I liked his direction, in this I detested it. Never thought he was a good director, never thought he was a director, but this chapter is really embarrassing. Unnecessary cloese-ups, continuous changes of take back and forth when it took a long take, takes from above when they were absolutely wrong for the moments. Yates badly exploits the spaces, certain actors appear out of nowhere, at a certain point no one understands who is “on stage” and who does not. In the final part it is not clear what happens. It is absolutely his worst direction. 

Another thing that is wrong is the editing, absolutely disgusting. Surely it comes from a director who did not know what to do, but there are some very obvious cuts, and some in the final action. It’s seriously bad.

I still hate the costumes of Atwood that wears the wizards in suits and ties, not caring that they’re not Muggles.

I really enjoyed cinematography and even the production design. Good special effects, but in some scenes you could see that they were clearly effects.

So, I do not recommend Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. It is a waste of time and money. Go see Widows.

Voto: 35 / 100

Now it’s up to you. Have you seen Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald? Yes? No? You will go? What do you think? Write down everything in the comments. If you liked the review, share it, and follow me either by e-mail, or on Twitter and Facebook, of which you will find a window nearby, or below if you are on mobile. I will do a spoiler review and I will publish it on Sunday to clarify everything I hated.